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Kit's Alter Ego
November 6, 2003, 09:54 AM
And now for a very special episode of Inside Golden Moments:

GOLDEN MOMENTS: NIGHT OF THE DIVAS
NOVEMBER 5th, 2003
Groups Performing:
:arrow: Throw Like A Girl

INTRODUCTION: Last night on UNC campus, ASAP (Advocates for Sexual Assault Prevention) sponsored a revue of nearly all female performers (there were 3 male accompanists) to raise money and awareness for the Orange County Rape Crisis Center. DSI's own all-female long-form improv group, Throw Like A Girl, was the unofficial centerpiece of the evening, and this reporter was present to take quotes and up the male-audience-member headcount by 4%.


From Throw Like A Girl:

Diana Chang: I don't feel like I need to stay home with you, gramma. I don't feel like dealing with your smoking pills. I don't feel like cooking you non-asparagus items.

Lyda Kendrick: I've never seen such a wide horizon. I suppose...it's because we're on the sea, and the horizon's all around us.

CeCe Garcia, whaler: (is looking around with a telescope)
Lyda Kendrick, another whaler: That's I like about you: you've got the best equipment, and you know how to use it.
CeCe Garcia: That's right. Now, I need to show you something on the radar.

CeCe Garcia: There's a nice whaling group off the coast of...Maine. ...I think we should call it 'Maine.'
Lyda Kendrick: That is good. It is a nice whaling group.
CeCe Garcia: Yes. And it is also my mother's name: ...Maine.

Diana Chang: Are we about to have another Harris Teeter episode? Because you're just getting me hot!

Olivia Henderson, cheerleader: So, would you call this a date?
CeCe Garcia, quarterback: Here in the school parking lot, you mean?

Diana Chang: You need to get in touch with your inner female...I mean, you've got an outer female too, but still...!

CeCe Garcia: I'm gonna be a vegetarian, Dad. "Charlotte's Web" has taught me things: I don't want Wilbur to die!!!

Diana Chang: (In her normal timbre) Arr. Laaand-ho. Well, Thompson, yarr, we've made it through another j'erney togethur-r-r-r-r...Arr.

And finally, a random audience review of Throw Like A Girl by the young woman who was leaving right in front of me:

YWWWLRIFOM, to her friend: Girl, I was about to fall out. That mess was so funny. That mess was so. funny. They were up there, and I heard them, like, <in a sing song voice:> "I don't want to kill Wilbur!"

--Kit

PS: If the show hadn't been running long because of technical difficulties, maybe you could've kept going. It was, in any case, a very nice short long-form. I, in all seriousness, was likewise about to fall out.