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Kit's Alter Ego
February 17, 2004, 11:50 AM
In a move only precedented (the opposite of unprecedented after being verbed) by PT's Movie Reviews, Kit's Alter Ego Presents:
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/archives/indc/rockstar/2000/rock0630.jpg: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v107/xchamberx/dsi%20forum%20classics/lgDUH.jpg

Or, for those who don't know how to read a rebus (or a subject line):
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 1: I All Alone Beweep My Outkast State


To start this thread off right, we offer this important news (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20040217/tc_nm/tech_polaroid_outkast_dc) to all you overly impressionable listeners out there.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
Of course, "lay it on a flat surface like a Polaroid picture," doesn't sound nearly as cool.

--Kit

PS: Actually, it does if you do it like this:
Lay it, lay, lay it.
On a. Flat. Surface.
Lay it.
On a.
Flat. Surface.
'Gnore it like a Polaroid picture. Here we go now!

Kit's Alter Ego
February 17, 2004, 12:34 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

(Rapidfire it may be, but it's important to show the pattern for better viewer understanding.)

Episode 2: In Nirvana did Kublai Khan a Stately Plurality Decree

We offer the beginning (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2001796487_krist19m.html) as well as the end (http://launch.yahoo.com/read/news.asp?contentID=215606) of the story to those who wish to see this man (with, by the way, a last name almost as hard to spell as Schwarzenegger) make the Washington State government his bass of operations.

Excerpts That Are Not To Be Missed:
"Nirvana was a political band," he said. "And we were the prophets of the disenfranchised. We spoke to the disenfranchised because we ourselves felt that way."
"Competition serves democracy. Look at what it did to our presidential caucuses."

--Kit

PS: No, it wasn't a typo.

Kit's Alter Ego
February 17, 2004, 12:59 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 3: I pay-- in Satin Cash-- You did not state-- your price

For those of you thinking about a career in advertising, we offer this cautionary tale (http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=150073), an allegory for why you should never name a child Seymour Butts or Ben Dover.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
TV producer Sula Miller of Big Grin Productions in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., said she thought of the idea when she heard the song on the radio while struggling with the uncomfortable condition.

--Kit

PS: Really, you have to wonder what TV producer would admit that sort of thing.



...you know, about listening to radio and all.

Kit's Alter Ego
February 17, 2004, 01:33 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 4: I, (no longer) All Alone, Beweep My Outkast State

With all due respect to all involved parties, we're going to mock you. We apologize in advance. ...But probably a bit sarcastically.

Grammy Awards ceremonies are guaranteed to offend somebody, but when we offer this multicultural story (http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=149867), the duh must be directed at those offended. After all, it's not like the song has anything to do with being Native American; they could just as easily have dressed up as stereotypical pirates or stereotypical Catholic School Girls or stereotypical African Americans In A Comedy Movie...and the song would still not be saying anything about any of those groups.

As for the wearing of feathers, it seems a bit anal-retentive to call people out for "wearing sacred symbols" when said symbols are used in down pillows. And Cub Scout Daycamp arts&crafts classes. And certain fetish flicks that we have not actually seen...but that, nevertheless, Native Americans are not offended by as a people.

I certainly didn't notice an outcry from the Oneidas when Carsen Grey played Tiger Lily in "Peter Pan" last year.
A feather and everything. For shame.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
"I told my wife who was sitting beside me, 'Somebody is going to be (angry) about this,'" he said.

--Kit

PS: The article censored itself. How apropos.

Kit's Alter Ego
February 24, 2004, 04:52 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 5: But Danger Mousie, thou art no thy lane

This Tuesday, we offer the tale of a mouse (http://www.nme.com/news/story.htm?ID=107642)...well, actually, it's the tale of everybody but the Mouse, but still...

And, for those who want to surf to every site that's protesting, we also offer a link to the grey-tuesday site (http://www.greytuesday.org/) as well.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
Reuters has also quoted Mr. Burton as saying, "[t]his wasn't supposed to happen . . . . I just sent out a few tracks (and) now online stores are selling it and people are downloading it all over the place."

--Kit

PS: Wow. You release music that people like, and suddenly everybody's listening to it. Go figure.

Kit's Alter Ego
March 8, 2004, 03:50 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Belated Episode 6: Wee folk, good folk, Trooping all together; Green jacket, Pepsi cap, And white owl's feather!

Last Tuesday... :roll: ...we offer this look into the sordid affairs of Pepsi drinkers. When ITunes are the prize, who wouldn't degrade themselves like this (http://macmerc.com/news/archives/1270)?

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
In the replies to the post:
I have been aware of this for over ten years with similar cap prizes. Posting this just ruined it for all the people who knew for now they will fix this problem for sure...........noobs

--Kit

PS: I think it's all the more entertaining, given the commercial for the promotion (http://www.apple.com/itunes/pepsi/ads/).

Kit's Alter Ego
March 9, 2004, 11:25 AM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 7: And the flame of the blue Star of twilight, Will Hung on the rim of the sky


This Tuesday, having gotten back on schedule, we offer the latest (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=495&ncid=689&e=3&u=/ap/20040308/ap_en_mu/people_william_hung)from reality television's annals of idiocy. First there was no-complications Idol. Then there was the Clay-voting-hotline "scandal" that led to a runner-up being more famous than the winning Idol. Now, the guy whose performance was turned into an avatar
(http://chessy.novusopiate.com/willy.gif), the guy who didn't even get on the show, is getting a record contract. Next season, maybe we can skip the show altogether and just go back to people getting recording contracts on their own.


Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
Koch Records general manager Alan Grunblatt was even more effusive: "He is the new Elvis!"

--Kit

PS: And in case you weren't satisfied by the article, you can go directly to http://www.williamhung.net/ for insanity beyond belief...including such wonders of pixelation as:
http://www.williamhung.net/photos/Movies/23.jpg.
I'm surprised they didn't go for words that actually sound similar, like "Attila the Hung" or "The Hung and the Restless" or even "Hung-y, I Shrunk The Kids."

Kit's Alter Ego
March 16, 2004, 11:38 AM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 8: Your 50 Cent is in the room. Swiftly it overwhelms and conquers me!

This week we offer the reason you should read Playboy for the articles (http://www.vh1.com/news/articles/1485657/03102004/50_cent.jhtml). It says a lot about a person when they're willing to be both famous and controversial...mostly that they're famous.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
Elsewhere in the interview, 50 recalls the first time he ever shot someone, discusses his own experiences with getting shot and says he wants to build a community center for children.

--Kit

PS: At least he's okay with lesbians. Otherwise, he wouldn't be a man.

Kit's Alter Ego
March 30, 2004, 02:42 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 9: i, john kerry, your heart with me(i carry it in / my heart)
OR
I'll whistle as I round the spur -- / You let the Slipknot down for me


This week, we offer two articles for the price of one!

First, John Kerry is just another entertainer in politics (http://c.moreover.com/click/here.pl?j139381645&w=2221940). You have to wonder sometimes why we don't hear about these things up front. Certainly, if Bob Dole had pulled the comedy card before the election, he would have won. And look at Arnold. Or Ronald Reagan. Or The Body. Hrm...

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
"I think Larry was teaching him the chords, and John [Kerry] learned very quickly ... what he needed to do to stand up there and look cool and play the bass."


And then, it's what every extra dreams of (http://c.moreover.com/click/here.pl?j139380295&w=2221940): property destruction with a distinct chance of injury! Seriously, ripping apart a house piece by piece is more fun than you'd think. But usually you try not to do it with knives. More power to Slipknot, I guess.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
The treatment for the video, according to MTV, read: "It will be like nine sardines on PCP gnawing at each other as they bounce around their tiny tin can."


--Kit

PS: I want to see Slipknot run for office.
http://www.cascobayweekly.com/cbw/current_image/10.18.01/pics/cal-slipknot.jpg

Kit's Alter Ego
April 13, 2004, 04:19 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 10: Your breast will not lie by the breast
Of your beloved in step.

This week we offer a disappointing tangent (http://entertainment.msn.com/celebs/article.aspx?news=155285). Far-reaching are the effects of Janet Jackson's Super Bowl bust-out. First it was the time lapse on the Grammies. Then the Dave Letterman jabs on late-night TV. Now, she's being blamed for breasts not being shown on television.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
"We're concerned young women think they have to look this way," Vives said, adding she hoped the cancellation is permanent.
"There are many other ways to promote their product."

--Kit

PS: Yes, there are plenty of ways to advertise sexy lingerie that don't involve showing beautiful women wearing it:
*Ugly women wearing it
*Fat women wearing it
*Men wearing it
Or my personal favorite:
*Beautiful women not wearing it

Kit's Alter Ego
April 27, 2004, 12:58 PM
BEHIND THE MUSIC: The Book Of Duh

Episode 11: When chapman Billies leave the street

Back by personal demand, we offer this harrowing episode of deja vu (http://www.billboard.com/bb/daily/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000496383). Sometimes, you have to wonder if someone's trying trying to kill the man.

Excerpt That Is Not To Be Missed:
"He seemed embarrassed that he lost control of the car," said witness Thomas Phillips Jr. "He said, `I can't believe I got in another accident.' He was just going out to get a pizza."

--Kit

PS: I love the Polaroid ad in the middle of the page ("Instant laughter").