View Full Version : Inside Golden Moments: 12-5-03

Kit's Alter Ego
December 6, 2003, 12:46 AM
And now for a very special episode of Inside Golden Moments:

DECEMBER 5th, 2003
Groups Performing:
:arrow: CHiPs

From CHiPs:

Thomas Whittington, young child: Come on, MyNewDad! I'll show you my mom's bed!

Miles Masci, father: Oh, I see you wet the bed!
Thomas Whittington, little boy: That's sweat! That's sweat! Sweat!
Maddy Curley, mother:Oh, yeah, suuuuure: ooey yellow sweat!

Joe Pug: I found a dinosaur bone...Well, that's what I think. They had small dinosaurs too. Some people might say it's a chicken bone, but whatthehell.

Justin Drogos: (to audience) All right, let me get some occupations!
<complete silence>
Justin Drogos: (to audience) ...of people.
<shouted suggestions ensue>

Maddy Curley: I'm so excited about going to Oregon!
Miles Masci: (pointing out car window) Yeah, look at all those redwoods!
Zack Bly, driver & father: Yes, kids, and we're about to drive through one of them right now!...<look of intense concentration, then relaxes and laughs>
Maddy Curley: That was so fun!
Zack Bly: Well, kids, did you count the rings?
Maddy Curley: Reverse!
<Zack hits brakes and backs car back through tree>
Maddy Curley: Wow! That's old!
Zack Bly: Forward! <shifts gears>

[during a game of "Carjacking" in redwood forest]
Tim Matson: Oh no! Those <looks at suggestion list> flamboyant dead horses stole our car!
Joe Pug, flamboyant dead horse 1: I just wanna stop and eat some haaaaaay!
Thomas Whittington, flamboyant dead horse 2: You guys always get like this around wood...I don't blame you; I'd just like someone to beat me!

Maddy Curley: I found a disease--I mean!--cure for syphilis!
Miles Masci: I love that cure!

Zack Bly: I can't even scare little children on Halloween!
CeCe Garcia: Charlie, that's because you're a dead baby...You're just so precious!
Zack Bly: I know. I wish I'd been burned or drowned or thrown off a building; with SIDS, I just look like I'm sleeping!

Thomas Whittington: You remember our pact we made down at the watering hole? How you would never use artificial enhancements to get better at sports?...You broke our covenant.
Joe Pug: I...well, man, sometimes I think you were just taking advantage of me down at the watering hole. Just making covenants for the sake of covenants.

Justin Drogos: No, she's scared of me. Every time she sees me and my unibrow, she screams and runs away.

Joe Pug: (to reluctant audience member) Where's the last place you went on vacation?
Audience Member: (shouting from behind his coat) Zack, you're never going to see my daughter again!
Joe Pug: ...Why? What'd he do on your vacation?

Justin Drogos: He looks like his mom was gonna have twins, but then, while he was in utero, she became anorexic and he had to eat his twin brother! ...And then after he was born, he took Fat Medicine!

Miles Masci: (to audience) Hey, people! I hope you enjoyed our time with us! ...Heh...our time...with us. We've got one more game!

Zack Bly, the man in the Snuggles the Bear suit: The kids keep asking me, "Where's the Magic Kingdom of Snuggles the Bear?" ...I live in a crummy apartment! I don't have running water...much less a flowing river of Joy and Happiness!


PS: There's no excuse for coming in late to the show tonight, but I'll give mine anyway: It was my mother's birthday, and we took her to Outback at 5. Like fools, no one in our family had called ahead, and we therefore were not seated until 7:30 with the show starting at 8. I think the fact that I still managed to be only 10 minutes late speaks volumes about my...well, my disregard for traffic laws, for one.

Dana S
December 6, 2003, 02:32 AM
The best CHiPs show I've seen yet. I brought my friend Jorge along, and he now hero-worships all the members of CHiPs...as should everyone.

Ross White
December 6, 2003, 11:13 AM
Best. Picture. Ever.

If I'd have known I was missing a rave, I would not have gone to see the Canes tie again.

December 6, 2003, 11:44 AM
HILARIOUS - That's funny (middle finger). CHiPs rocks (improv).

Jeff Sconce
December 6, 2003, 03:11 PM
Justin Drogos...Kit Fitzpatric.

Zack Bly
December 6, 2003, 03:43 PM
i should explain i guess,

the audience member was really my girlfriend's dad who she managed to convince to come see the show. he doesn't like being picked on when he's in the audience of anything. *sigh*

even better: in the wings, as the next game was being called:

Joe Pug: sorry if i just ended your relationship, dude, but you know it's all in the name of comedy.

what a night.

Kit's Alter Ego
December 6, 2003, 06:21 PM
Justin Drogos...Kit Fitzpatric.

:roll: ...I personally have no idea what you're talking about.


PS: This innocent blink has been brought to you by Flip-A-Coin Productions, helping Kit decide between two or more arbitrarily-compared improvisers since 2003.

December 7, 2003, 08:44 PM
i also enjoyed:

"He looks like a pregnant sumo wrestler!"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? You little edipal FUCK!"

and the cell phone ring gangsta rap was one of the most brilliant re-enactments i've ever seen...

Dana S
December 7, 2003, 10:36 PM
Mike, mike, mike. Chis and I were flicking YOU off. Not CHiPs. Never CHiPs.